Who should be together long-term? Those who in unison, generate the most positive energy. In a proper relationship, the two work together, plan together and grow together. They are compatible if their goals match, and if neither requires sacrifice from the other. All decisions affecting both are made together, but long range decisions yield to the mind with the longest range. Both maintain their own financial responsibility, which is simply cognitiveresponsibility. Each makes their own money, and each controls that same amount. They remain independent together. He might say, “I have only one chance at this life. If I’m not free to live the way I wish, my spirit would die. It’s the same for you. You have dreams and desires, as I do. We both have a full right to pursue them. Mine are on the table: my dedication to my work, private luxury, travel, kids at a specific phase of life or none at all, and a priceless intimacy. I hope yours are on the table as well. If you’re sincere, I’ll use my resources to benefit us both. If not, I’ll have to use them to protect myself.”
They have seen the trauma of unhappy coexistence, perhaps in their parent’s lives, and are committed not to repeat it. No more domestic disputes or renounced dreams. No more shattered homes and battered wives. Just honesty, fairness and sound life-direction based on their mutual integrity. Together, they run through their mutual lifestyle interests subject by subject, to assure both are satisfied in life. Now is notthe time for compromise. Each states “I’d prefer to allocate X time and X money to this endeavor, (be it kids, travel, housing, or business), in order to preserve my core passions and their growth. This is the hierarchy by which I intend to live.” With core passions covered, the balance is negotiable. Neither tries to appropriate a share of their spouse’s capital for their own stubborn interest; they want in life only what they can independently sustain. Neither should burden the other with gifts they could never afford alone. They must be disciplined to wait until they have accumulated the virtues necessary to maintain a desired lifestyle by their own merit. No partner is to be shielded from cause and effect to consider money inexhaustible; it isn’t. Money is human energy, as is love. To waste either, or to spend it without the object’s appraisal relative to the expense of effort (and whose), is a pattern of poverty. No endeavor is pursued until the timing is right for both and the money is sufficient, which sets their mutual value hierarchy. As they move forward in life, each addresses new plans and acquisitions questioning what is most urgent or personally valuable to have first, and seeks fulfillment in the proper order. If ever they part, each is entitled to the share their investment provided.
Pursuing their own independent purposes, the relationship can remain what it is in the beginning; filled with exhilarating emotions, the anticipation of joy and the freshness of continually happening upon something special. On separate tracks yet running parallel, there is always an aura of mystery about one another. The nature of this distance holds pleasant surprises and newness around every corner. They think independently, retaining the unique perspective each brings to life, neither being limited by the interests or abilities of the other. Self-governed, they remain free to stay or to go, in a checks and balances system that keeps both rational and fair, reversing the snowball cycle of repression, to the exact opposite result. They are both a source of additional positive energy for each other, never an energy drain; the basic intention and benefit of living in a civil society. With constant awareness of each other’s value, their continual progression vents endless romantic appeal; and as a result, they court each other, throughoutthe relationship.