Relationship Conduct.You know when you’re packing for a vacation, and you feel that almost unbearable sense of anticipation, where the adrenaline just streamsthrough every muscle? Feeling that exhilarating response, to me, I think is wonderful, and should be our emotional medium. What would it be like, if every day with someone became a stimulating pleasure, where fascinating things were always being uncovered, and exciting new discoveries come up, allowing you to maintain a sense of awe—for me, there is no better way to live.
As a woman, wouldn’t it be nice, to be with a man who treated you like a person for once, who didn’t act like a dog on a leash, tiptoeing around to please you, but someone strong enough to trust you, someone who can joke and play, and pin you down, when you deserve it? You know how the most significant relationships have always had the highest highs, and the lowest lows? It was this conflict, rooted in passion, that drove you to feel more than you ever thought possible, and pulled more out of you, than you knew you could give. The best are always a roller coaster, that volleys between a sense of total helplessness, and glowing, radiant safety; but always, a healthy flow of violent, clashing, compelling emotions, and if you look back to those times, you never felt more alive. With the knowledge and means of its creation, you can look straight into the future, and know what you are in for!
One point of clarity when he comes home is that someone is there who understands him. When she crosses his mind, any negative pressure from life is gone. Just thinking of her potentiality, an enormous weight lifts, and his faculty of sight, hearing and thought no longer bring pain. His senses can tolerate what they see, as the core and majority of his intimate emotional exposure is so overwhelmingly positive. He is not trapped in a thankless life, and she is his proof. Their sacred relationship is built and maintained on pure honesty—consonance with their feelings, open about their fears, supporting, stabilizing, and fostering each other for mutual fulfillment. Private time is priceless between them. Little is on his chest; he doesn’t need to talk about work. Work is like preparing a meal, a focused application of his tools. Self-appreciation is enjoying the meal and being nourished by it. Romantic relationships are the reward of life, the dessert. Seeing his mate should be the climax of his day. Along the food theme, he even appreciates seeing her eat; confident the energy it provides will be used morally.
Self-made individuals know they will never be “one” with another, and would never want to be. They know this poetic ideal is metaphysically impossible and are aware of its true intent, the exchange of independence for dependence. The entirety of their life is spent with only one person—themselves. They are thankful to have found someone who glides alongside so pleasantly. The pattern of life has them in constant appreciation of all forms of beauty; of anything and anyone who “has it right” in life. It is their ability to identify such values, which brought them together in the first place; a realm where they will readily connect with others as well. While a sound relationship is monogamous, they do not forsake interest in the value others may represent, or in discovering their own value to others. Flirting is legal; it can be an exhilarating learning experience. This does not mean that such an encounter leads to sex, nor does it sanction dishonesty. A Self-made couple is so focused on their endeavors, that no question of infidelity ever arises, or really matters. They’ve chosen each other to exist at the center of their world, and the deeper that world goes, the harder it is to uproot. We all like a sense of permanence uninterrupted, until we are ready to leave; but in a relationship, that choice and risk is in equal balance. The same values that he used to choose his mate, determines what he will find attractive in others, and there can be many. He in turn realizes there are other men out there that she will find attractive, and that he better remain competitive. Marriage is not a license for stagnation at any time.
Both take care not to get tangled up in the lives of those outside the relationship. In a sound relationship, man and woman are each other’s first social consideration. He doesn’t come to her looking for a relationship with her family and friends, and she doesn’t come after his buddies. Playfully encircling her waist, he says “To hell with everyone outside of us. We come first.” And hugging him she smiles, knowing how wonderful it is to be so mutually dedicated. With life being a puzzle, she fits just right in his arms; they chose each other for this reason. Together, they are a temporary reprieve from the rest of the world. It is their time to talk about their own goals and about shared experiences, independent of others. As their lives develop and unfold, this time helps them to stay on track, keeping their focus on what counts.He comes to her for reasons and standards of his own that she satisfies, and she recognizes that he is of equal importance to her happiness. He needs to know that he can touch her, hold her, stop her and just look deep into her eyes, anytime he needs to. No power struggle to gain an upper hand is necessary, and no one outside the relationship can come between them.