Fantasies.Imagine if you were to encounter some luminous being whose presence engulfs you in the warmth of his power—someone brilliant and mysterious, who answers an emotional need you had no way of expecting someone else to understand, awakening that special place where you hide your most secret passionate fantasies. What if he suddenly walked in and said exactly what you needed to hear, stirring you to feel so overwhelming a desire, that the only way to satisfy it is to just drop everything and leave with him, right now? We’ve all dreamt of such a romantic encounter. Who wouldn’t enjoy being swept away like that? But for the most part, fantasies exist hidden within us, tailored to our desire. As we grow, they advance in depth and complexity, becoming richer and more fulfilling in a positive exercise of our full imaginative capacity. Like being on a beach, we get used to the shallow water before venturing deeper, and the deeper we go, the more exciting it is—the more pride we have in showing our willingness to face and overcome our fears. We struggle in the torrent and dive deep into the peace beneath it—a feat only possible by challenging all that has come before. In our return, we ride the surf as its master, then rise to enjoy the warmth of the sun and the ocean swirling at our feet, recovering the serene calm of certainty. From the beginning to the end, our adventure of life is positive. We carry forward the knowledge that we’ve been to the brink and back, in many ways. We’ve lived the fantasy.
The advice of most the world is that “If we love each other enough, we won’t stray,” yet few achieve it without painful longing, especially in youth. Such is the longing for a greater knowledge and exploration of people—even of oneself. I can hear the rest of this mantra; “Worship one god and never invest in another. Serve one State and never honor another. Love one person and never experience another. Seek a dictator in every realm. Limit, deny and renounce yourself. Follow our rules. Suffer our fate.” I can’t settle yet. I’d rather take my chances and be honest. This is a struggle that through irrational guilt, pressures many people into premature commitments. It impedes collecting the knowledge and experience necessary in their pursuit to identify and find a true soul mate, someone who will reflect their deepest expression of vitality for a lifetime. Repression is a tax and by implication, without mutual freedom the relationship would become a tax. Ultimately, I hold a monogamous relationship as an ideal. I dream to have so pure and passionate a love for someone, that they consumeall thoughts of intimacy. But I know we may not cross paths at the same level of interest or development. As painful as it is, I would weigh her value to me, and if she needs to learn more or I do, I would accept it. With the few times in life that a romantic fantasy is realized, personally I would grant it to her as I would my own rather than lose her over it, see her miss out, or have her hide it and carry the burden of an unnecessary guilt. Given the nature of her value to me, I know her fantasies would be wholesome, as are mine—to experience an exalted facet or discover an answer—about existence, about herself, or about her capacity for an intoxicating interrelation. She can live these rare fantasies and enjoy me as the heart of her medium as I enjoy her, and leave this Earth fulfilled; not limited by me or anyone else. If we stay together, the net result is that she becomes more important to me as she becomes more complete, as I do for her. We’ve confirmed our relationship. We’ve missed nothing intellectually or experientially—we are certain about each other—and can grow old together, in peace and harmony. From valuable experiences, our individual sum grows. If we seek values constructively, the fullness of our satisfaction shows in our future response to life and to others.
People don’t have to be everything you’ve dreamt of in order to have a relationship, and you don’t have to settle down, even when they are. The possibility of spending one evening with an extraordinary person is better than never living one’s dream. When you come across critical opportunities in life, you must seize them and live your passion with no regrets. The fire of our passion does not just go out. It fuels us, or it destroys us. It must be managed; it must be fed.The pain of longing for a past experience is infinitely better than having to regret the suppression of desire. Live the fantasy. Die happy.
There is no point in questioning whether or not the slipper will fit, one day. Those lost feelings are meant as a rededication to what you are waiting for; given that you’ve identified exactly what you want. If you have, then the chances are very good. Such traits cannot be left to implications. If you are working to be the best you can be, then the right one and better experiences are still ahead of you; your love will not remain unrequited. Once found, if you continue to focus on the key elements which bring a relationship into existence, it can live forever—meaning indefinitely.
There is only so much time and so many people you can run across in your life, and so many more you will miss. The one you find may be right for you, but be certain that there are others. With 85 million singles in the United States alone—half the adult population—about thirty thousandpossibilities exist in every age group and major city. It is always possible that your heart can be taken by another, more passionately and more completely. What counts most is that the one you’re with brings positive feelings and experiences into your life, not pain, shame, distrust or anger. With a solid moral frame of reference, people can confirm for themselves what acceptable behavior is and what it isn’t. They can see what is sanctioned by life and what is damned. Just as we all draw in air to further our lives, most will gravitate to the wholesome, meaningful, civil path. In a morally aware, rational society, satisfying encounters will become that much easier to find.